Tag: mental health

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Episode 48: Civil Rights Galas, College Graduations, Kind Words, and Bruce in Ireland

In this week’s episode, we talk about Lambda Legal’s Bon Foster Civil Rights Celebration at the Art Institute of Chicago, for which Dave is on the host committee. It’s not too late to make a donation to this fantastic organization, which has been fighting for LGBTQIA+ rights for more than 50 years. 

Then, Jennifer gives a recap of her fun but very hectic trip to San Antonio last weekend, we talk about our youngest’s college graduation this weekend, and the importance of sharing kind and supportive words … even if it doesn’t come naturally to some of us!

Finally, we spend some time talking about our upcoming trip to Ireland to see Bruce Springsteen (again!), Bruce’s European tour opener in Cardiff, and his (first ever?) performance in Belfast, a city that could use a lot of love.

We hope you enjoy the show, and please feel free to follow us on Instagram (@jenn_and_dave). You can also follow us on the site formerly known as Twitter, where our joint account is @JennandDave1 and the podcast account is @itsotetPodcast. Until next time

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Episode 46: Music for All Occasions

We take the title for this week’s episode from a 1995 album by one of our favorite groups, the Mavericks. But more on that later.

We start out with an update on our local walking club, which we joined a few weeks back despite some initial … hesitation. Turns out, it’s been a lot of fun and we’re glad we joined. Then we discuss our upcoming schedule. We will be out of the box for most of May, going to our youngest child’s college graduation followed by yet another trip to Ireland. 

At least we have excuses this time. And we’re telling you up front!

After that, we circle back to last week’s topic — mental health. And, in particular, how to manage your mental health on social media. This week’s story begins with an infamous comment by an infamous billionaire author who’s made it her life’s work to trash trans and nonbinary people, and what happens to normal people when they push back. We talk about the positive side of social media (that it can give you a voice when you feel like you don’t have one) and the negative side (that angry mobs will try to silence you if you challenge their narrow-mindedness). And then we talk about the strategies that work for some of us: Don’t engage the haters. Instead, go ahead and block them, mute them, and leave conversations to protect your own mental health. These strategies may not work for everyone, but they give many of us peace of mind while still allowing us to have our say.

We then turn to much happier topics: Seeing the above-mentioned Mavericks in concert this past weekend for what is at least the sixth, if not seventh, time. From the first time we saw them at a small club in the Chicago suburb’s touring in support of their 1994 LP, What a Crying Shame, to this most recent show, they’ve never let us down. Their music spans country, rock, blues, and Latin, but it’s all universally fun. And they’re fantastic musicians, which doesn’t hurt. They also have a new album coming out called Moon and Stars which will be available on May 17. We’re really looking forward to that.

Finally, we talk about an interesting new album called Petty Country: A Musical Celebration of Tom Petty. As the name suggests, the album consists of twenty covers of Tom Petty songs by a diverse group of country artists, including Chris Stapleton, Luke Combs, the Brothers Osborne, Willie and Lukas Nelson, Margot Price, Wynonna Judd, Marty Stuart, Steve Earle, George Strait, and Rhiannon Giddens. We’re not entirely sure what to expect, but we’re looking forward to giving it a spin.

So, we hope you enjoy the show, and please feel free to follow us on Instagram (@jenn_and_dave). You can also follow us on the site formerly known as Twitter, where our joint account is @JennandDave1 and the podcast account is @itsotetPodcast. Until next time! 

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Episode 45: April Is the Cruellest Month

So, we were off for the past three weeks due to illness — not COVID, but each of us had bad colds that interfered with podcasting and life in general. Fortunately, we’re more or less back now. Until the next thing happens.

In this week’s episode, we first talk about the bizarre weather we’ve had over the past few weeks, including torrential rains, gale force winds, and, yes … snow. Which, to be fair, is not all that unusual in April in this part of the world.

We then turn to the thirtieth anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s death, which came just three years after the death of Dave’s brother under similar (but not identical) circumstances. Which leads to a conversation about whether this time of year may have a negative affect on some people’s mental health. After all, April, as T.S. Eliot famously said, is the cruellest month (that’s his spelling, not ours).

From there, we have an extended discussion about mental health and our own journey with it. We don’t, of course, offer unsolicited advice (as so many people do!) other than to say that each person has to deal with their mental health in the way that makes the most sense for them. We simply encourage people to deal with their mental health as they deal with their physical health: Take it seriously, talk to your doctor or other health professional, consider the options, and, most of all, take positive steps to control the things you can control.

We hope you listen to this frank and personal discussion, and please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section. We hope that, by talking openly about these issues, it will encourage others to share their experiences — or just give some serious thought to their own mental health and what they need to live happier lives.

Finally, we talk about George Constanza’s weird obsession with death and how to be more philosophical about it, and we chat briefly about NCAA basketball tournament season, the women’s final (which had not yet taken place at the time of recording), and Illinois’ women’s team winning the inaugural Women’s Basketball Invitational Tournament. 

So, we hope you enjoy the show, and please feel free to follow us on Instagram (@jenn_and_dave). You can also follow us on the site formerly known as Twitter, where our joint account is @JennandDave1 and the podcast account is @itsotetPodcast. Until next time! 

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Episode 9: Give Us a Break!

On this week’s show, we talk about our 27th anniversary (!) and what it’s like to have a successful mixed-orientation marriage, especially in these bizarre times.

We also talk about the current onslaught of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation around the country, from Florida to Texas to Idaho, and the toll it takes on the mental health of those of us in the community. In some ways, it’s especially bad for us older folks because, as the expression goes, it’s déjà vu all over again — we’ve seen this demonization before, and whether it’s the last gasp of a failed culture war or a genuine threat to our health and well-being, it’s particularly hard to face after years of apparent progress.

Anyway, sometimes we all need a break from all this terrible news, so we begin to explore ways of dealing with the mental strain of rising anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment … a theme we will undoubtedly come back to many times in the future.

So please listen to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!

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Episode 5: Happy Thanksgiving!

On this special holiday edition of our podcast, we talk about how we met in a bar in Forest Park, Illinois, 28 years ago on the night before Thanksgiving, and began this crazy journey. On a more serious note, we also talk about the challenges people face during the holiday season, and especially the challenges LGBTQ+ people often face. Whether it’s family members who espouse harmful prejudices and toxic politics, who disapprove of you for who you are, or who simply do not understand your relationship, the holidays can be exceptionally stressful for the mixed-orientation community. Add to that the divisive times we live in where many people in the LGBTQ+ community, and especially our trans and nonbinary community members, face hatred, animosity, and even violence, and navigating this time of year can be too much.

While we don’t have the expertise to give mental health advice, we strongly urge everyone to take care of their mental wellbeing and do what’s best for themselves. Maybe that means avoiding stressful situations. Maybe that means confronting toxic friends and family members. Or maybe that means gritting your teeth and bearing it to avoid conflicts. The important thing is to do what works best for you — and to realize that you don’t have to resolve these problems right now. Time is on your side. Sometimes that’s the most important thing: to recognize that tomorrow is another day. 

Take care of yourselves this holiday season. If you think you need help, get help. And if it feels overwhelming and you don’t know where to turn, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has resources that can help you get through this. Please reach out. There is always tomorrow. 

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