Episode 42: Channeling Difficult Emotions

Since we rebooted our podcast, we begin this week’s show discussing topics we plan to cover going forward, including familiar themes such as LGBTQIA+ rights, family, and music, and new(ish) themes like cooking and physical and mental health.

From there, we discuss the tragic death of indigenous nonbinary teenager Nex Benedict after a brutal attack at a high school in Oklahoma, and the range of emotions their death evokes: anger, rage, frustration, despair. But, more importantly, we talk about how to channel those emotions in a constructive and positive way, because losing hope is not an option.

To that end, we also talk about an important fundraising project we are involved in: the annual Lambda Legal Bon Foster Civil Rights Celebration in Chicago, which takes place on Friday, May 10, at 6:30 p.m. Central at the Art Institute. Please consider joining us if you can, and, if that’s not possible, please consider making a donation to Lambda Legal, one of the country’s oldest, largest, and most successful legal organizations fighting for LGBTQIA+ Americans and people living with HIV.

Above all, to paraphrase the late, great Joe Strummer of the Clash, we urge everyone who’s feeling justifiable anger today to turn that anger into power.

So, we hope you enjoy the show, and please feel free to follow us on Instagram (@jenn_and_dave). You can also follow us on the site formerly known as Twitter. Our joint account is @JennandDave1 and the podcast account is @itsotetPodcast. Until next time! 

Episode 39: New Cars and New Jobs

In this week’s episode: An update on the firing of Kris Martin, a local teacher whom the Homer Glen, Illinois, school board let go for … suspicious reasons (you can sign a Change.org petition here). 

Also: Weaponizing mental health. Car talk. Driving stick shift. Working remotely vs. working in the office. Remembering 9/11 and what became of America (note that we recorded this before the anniversary of 9/11). 

And, from threatening to sue the ADL to siding with Russia, Apartheid Baby continues to be the worst. 

So please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And follow us on Twitter at @itsotetPodcast and @JennandDave1.

Episode 38: Happy Labor Day!

On this Week’s episode: a rambling conversation about everything from the holiday weekend to running races and training for marathons to … Martha Stewart? 

More importantly, we discuss the Texas Supreme Court’s ill-advised decision that lets the state’s ban on gender-affirming care for minors take effect despite the overwhelming weight of scientific and medical evidence to the contrary. And, on a related note, we talk about how the “parents’ rights” movement isn’t about parents’ rights at all, but interfering with your rights as a parent. We talk about the Canadian doofus who goes by the name “Billboard Chris,” the anti-queer cult’s complete misunderstanding of “consent” in the context of minors’ health care (hint: parents always have to consent to health care for their kids), and the limited (but obvious!) circumstances where parents lose the right to make decisions for their kids.

Finally, a couple of notes: First check out our friend Jesse Jackson’s appearance on the Bella Grayce Podcast where he talks about dealing with family members’ substance abuse and the uniqueness of losing a sibling. Second, we briefly revisit the firing of a local queer teacher over social media posts and the new GoFundMe to support him. Please consider making a donation!

Anyway, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And follow us on Twitter at @itsotetPodcast and @JennandDave1.

Episode 37: What’s the Matter with Homer Glen?

On this Week’s episode we talk about guitar playing, the Cubs’ playoff chances, and what the heck is going on in south suburban Home Glen, Illinois, where the local school board apparently fired a teacher for exercising their First Amendment rights to free speech and freedom of religion. We discussed this last episode but naïvely thought the school district might do the right thing. They did not. 

So, this week, we brought the heat. 

The short version is this: It’s hard to see any legal rationale for the board’s actions, and it may, in the end, expose the board to litigation … along with the pitchfork-wielding extremist mob that demanded the teacher’s firing in the first place. We’re talking about you, Libs of TikTok, Moms for Liberty, Awake Illinois, and Awake Americans. Maybe you folks ought to lawyer up.

On a related note, since the lynch mob raised the teacher’s apparent interest in Satanism, you might want to educate yourself about that theological perspective. It’s not what you think.

We also discuss the racist Jacksonville shooting and conservatives’ disturbing, if predictable, pattern of using “mental illness” as a shield to protect bigots and mass murderers and sword to demonize marginalized people, especially members of the LGBTQIA+ community. 

And speaking of lawsuits, with the rising wave of hate crimes in America, from the  racist murders in Jacksonville to the homophobic murder of Laura Ann Carlton in California to bomb threats phoned into Illinois libraries, it may be time to subject some of these extremist groups to the SPLC treatment. See: Aryan Nations on the Verge of Collapse Following Judgment.

Finally, since groups like Moms for Liberty got their start protesting COVID restrictions in schools before they turned to attacking trans and nonbinary youth, we thought we’d take a look at the number of COVID deaths versus the number of gender affirming surgeries among kids 18 and under. While it’s difficult to find statistics for exactly identical time periods, you won’t be surprised to learn that there were more than 1,800 COVID deaths among kids from 0 to 18 through June 2023, and around 800 surgeries, nearly all on 17 and 18 year olds, during the the two-year period from 2019 to 2021. So, apparently, Moms for Liberty and their affiliates would rather that children die of COVID than have potentially life-saving surgeries. Duly noted.

Anyway, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And follow us on Twitter at @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 36: A Hundred Degrees in the Shade

On this Week’s Episode: A heat wave in the midwest. Climate change is real. Growing up without air conditioning. Bomb threats at libraries. Anti-queer hate crimes. And local outrage addicts pick up the pitchforks and go after an art teacher for … being queer? Exercising their First Amendment rights? Criticizing the police? Being a “satanist”? Having had mental health issues several years ago? Who knows, but it doesn’t add up.

Also … a little Irish hip hop for good measure? Why not.

Update on the art teacher controversy: Since recording this episode, the local school district fired the teacher for reasons that are less than clear. We’ll have more information — and more questions — on next week’s episode.

So, anyway, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And follow us on Twitter at @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 33: Mind Your Business

On this week’s show: Our pool is finally open after months of delay. We’re still trying to get the hang of Threads. Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick support the ACLU Drag Defense Fund. Drag queens have First Amendment rights, too. A lot of you have lost your minds. Jennifer says mind your business. “Moms” for “Liberty” doesn’t want this smoke. White people ruined “woke” (just ask Bill Burr). “Awake Americans” … who are awake, but not woke? … are cringeworthy. And more. 

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! 

Episode 31: Transitioning While Famous, and the Supreme Court Strikes Out

On this week’s episode, after reminiscing about being in New York City last year for the 4th of July and giving a shoutout to Garland and Claire Jeffreys for commenting and sharing last week’s podcast, we get down to business.

First, we talk about Elliot Page’s book Page Boy: A Memoir, which Jennifer highly recommends. Navigating becoming famous while coming to terms with being transgender is not an easy thing to do, but Elliot has managed to do it with grace.

And that brings us to a discussion of other people who’ve transitioned while in the limelight, including Grammy-winning artist Wendy Carlos, who brought the Moog synthesizer to Bach and other classical composers in the 1960s and ’70s, and Chaz Bono, who began to transition around 2008 and sat down with David Letterman for a memorable interview in 2011.  

In this same conversation, we talk about Gina Chua, former executive editor at Reuters with a decades-long, high profile career in journalism, who transitioned during the COVID-19 pandemic. In a 2021 New York Times story, she said the pandemic gave her the privacy and time to be able to “grow into her skin.” Chua is the most senior transgender journalist in the country. In the Times article she says, “There are a lot of people who are 14 years old who would like to know that this is not a death sentence.” She continues, “It’s not a millstone. It’s something you can be proud of, it’s something you can celebrate and something you can live with.”

Finally, we turn to the recent Supreme Court decision in 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis, where the Court considered a web designer’s challenge to a Colorado civil rights law that might, theoretically, possibly, maybe, someday … require her to create a wedding-related website for a same sex couple. The only problem is, no same sex couple has ever actually asked her to do that, so her entire case is based on mere speculation. That’s the kind of case that courts ordinarily throw out because, without an actual injury, a plaintiff has no standing to bring a lawsuit in the first place. Not so much under the current Bizarro-World Supreme Court, apparently.

But it’s actually worse than that. At some point during the case, anticipating a challenge to her standing, the plaintiff filed a declaration under penalty of perjury stating that a same sex couple named Stewart and Mike contacted her company to inquire about a wedding website. Though the documents the plaintiff filed provided Stewart’s telephone number, no one bothered to verify the story. Except for a journalist named Melissa Gira Grant, who published a piece in The New Republic on June 29, 2023, one day before the Supreme Court delivered its opinion. In her New Republic article, Grant reveals — and other media outlets have since confirmed — that the story is simply untrue. Stewart never reached out to 303 Creative, never knew that they used his name in their case, and absolutely never requested that 303 Creative design a website for him. In fact, Stewart himself is a web designer and was already married at the time of the alleged contact … to a woman, not to a man named Mike. 

Apparently, some folks are so consumed with their own hate that nothing else matters, least of all the truth.

So, anyway, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 29: Solar Panels, Artificial Intelligence, and Hate Groups

This week’s episode runs a little long, but we think it will be worth your time.

We begin the show talking about solar panels and whether there is a downside to high tech solutions to environmental problems. Then we talk about artificial intelligence and how some employers use it in the hiring process. Perhaps employers use AI to cut down on the biases, implicit or otherwise, that hiring professionals may have … but what about biases that are baked into the AI? Illinois and New York have passed legislation to address some of these issues, but it remains to be seen whether that legislation will be beneficial.

That leads to a broader discussion about implicit bias and whether we’d be better off confronting it and learning to hold it in check rather than relying on technology, which may or may not have its own biases, to replace human involvement. 

And don’t get us started on age discrimination … 

Anyway, we wrap up the show talking about the Southern Poverty Law Center’s recent designation of Moms for Liberty (or, more accurately, “Moms” for “Liberty”) as a hate group. While SPLC brands them as anti-government extremists for their concerted efforts to harass school board members, teachers, administrators, and pubic libraries, they are, in fact, a pro-authoritarian organization that wants to dominate public schools and dictate what other people’s kids learn and what books they can read. And that doesn’t even get into their over-the-top anti-LGBTQIA bigotry. 

Moms for Liberty has affiliated groups throughout the country, including ironically named groups called Awake Illinois and Awake Americans that are trying to destroy our local schools. And they will try to destroy yours, too. We will follow up on this in the coming weeks, but we also briefly mention some people in Illinois who are affiliated with these groups, including a small-town (alleged) “cowboy” who posts (homoerotic?) selfies all day and is convinced that he’s the smartest guy on the planet. You’ll be surprised to learn that he’s … not.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 27: “You’re Not From Chicago”

So, we’re done talking about our Ireland trip and the Bruce Springsteen concert (for now), but we have to mention that our episode of Jesse Jackson’s Set Lusting Bruce podcast is now live, so check it out. We had a great time recording with Jesse.

Turning to this week’s episode, we talk about living in the Chicago suburbs and folks from out of town getting dunked on for mouthing off about our city … even though it’s not really our city. (For context, see this write up of Fox & Friends’ misadventures in suburban Naperville on the morning of Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson’s inauguration.)

But it’s not all fun and games. Picking up on a part of our conversation with Jesse on his show, we also talk about the current status of LGBTQIA rights in America and the increasing threats to the community. Is it just the last angry gasp of a dying ideology, or is there a real danger that our community will lose its hard-fought rights? We take a look at a violent incident in Glendale, California, where far-right thugs attacked supporters of LGBTQIA rights and what it says about the growing desperation of anti-LGBTQIA bigots. But we also share some good news — a US District Court judge in Florida entered a preliminary injunction that temporarily prohibits the state from enforcing portions of its recently-enacted law banning gender-affirming care for minors. The ruling only protects the named plaintiffs at this point, but the court’s decision (which you can read here) is very encouraging.

However, even that good news comes with a word of caution. While this judge got it right, we know there will be further litigation and likely appeals in the Florida case, along with other challenges to these types of statutes around the country, and at some point one or more of those cases could reach the Supreme Court. In the past, we might have been somewhat optimistic about the Supreme Court’s ultimate decision in these cases — after all, this is the Court that gave us Obergefell and Bostock — but in the post-Dobbs world, all bets are off.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 26: Ireland, Part 2

Following up on Episode 25, we continue our conversation about our recent trip to see Bruce Springsteen in Dublin, but first we talk about recording an episode of Set Lusting Bruce with our friend and podcaster, Jesse Jackson (not that Jesse Jackson; the Springsteen podcaster from Dallas). We had a really great time talking to Jesse about some serious stuff (the rising tide of anti-LGBTQIA prejudice in the US and whether it’s the last gasp of a dying ideology) and some very fun stuff (BRUCE!). 

We’ll post a link to Jesse’s podcast when it’s up. In the meantime, check out other episodes of his podcast, including the most recent episode where he talks with Warren Zanes, author of a deep-dive into the Nebraska album called Deliver Me From Nowhere.

We then we go into an extended discussion about the concert, getting there, getting in, getting close to the stage, and … getting wet. But it was a fantastic show and Bruce was in fine form. The set opened with “My Love Will Not Let You Down,” which was the opening number on his reunion tour with the E Street Band in 2000, so it holds a special place in Springsteen lore. From there, he played a fair number of songs from: 

  • The Wild, the Innocent & the E Street Shuffle (“Kitty’s Back,” “The E Street Shuffle”); 
  • Born to Run (“Born to Run,” “Thunder Road,” “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out,” “Backstreets,” “She’s the One”); 
  • Darkness on the Edge of Town (“The Promised Land,” “Prove it All Night,” “Badlands,” “Something in the Night”); 
  • Born in the USA (“No Surrender,” “Glory Days,” “Dancing in the Dark,” “Bobby Jean”); 
  • The Rising (“The Rising,” “Mary’s Place”);
  • Wrecking Ball (“Wrecking Ball,” “Death to My Hometown”); and 
  • Letter to You (“Letter to You,” “Ghosts,” “Last Man Standing,” “I’ll See You in My Dreams”).

He also played “Out in the Street” from The River, “Nightshift” from Only the Strong Survive (his recent collection of soul covers), Jimmy Cliff’s “Trapped,” “Johnny 99” from Nebraska, and “Because the Night” (an all-time favorite). He did not do some of his lesser known songs that resonate with long-timers (“Roulette,” “Held Up Without a Gun,” “Paradise by the ‘C’”), but it was a very solid retrospective of his career. You can actually down the audio of the performance here.

In addition to that, we talk about our time in Dublin, wandering around O’Connell Street, our adventures on public transport, and hiking in the Dublin Mountains, plus our visits to the James Joyce Centre and the Garden of Remembrance and our thoughts on the documentary, Bono & The Edge: A Sort of Homecoming with Dave Letterman, part of which was filmed right across the street from our hotel.

For more on our Ireland trip, the concert, and reflections on modern Ireland, you can listen to this episode of David’s Clash podcast, Two Minutes Fifty-Nine.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

On the bus to RDS Arena
We were *this* close
Bruce and Little Steven were in fine form
Bruce comes over to our side of the stage