Episode 17: Being Part of the Conversation

We’re back after a long hiatus because, as we explain in this week’s episode, there is a conversation going on in the world, whether we like it or not, and good people have to be part of it.

It’s been a long time, and, frankly, after recording our last episode, we thought we might never come back. Last year saw one tragedy after another in a country that seemed to be increasingly polarized and defined by anger and extremism, especially on the right. From mass shootings to the Supreme Court overruling decades of precent and stripping away individual liberties to the ever more hostile environment in which marginalized people, and especially LGBTQIA people, find themselves, the stress at times was overwhelming. 

Fighting this fight takes a toll, and trying weigh the stress of fighting it against the cost of ignoring it seems to present an impossible dilemma.

But, as we say, the conversation about individual rights and fundamental human dignity goes on with or without us, and without us, the voices of the lunatic fringe not only become louder, they become normalized and mainstream. Whether it’s Michael Knowles talking about “eradicating transgenderism” at CPAC, Matt Walsh and his fellow travelers obsessing over and spreading lies about gender-affirming care for trans people, or random unhinged Twitter users casually hurling the vilest accusations imaginable at parents and others who support LGBTQIA youth, there are times when decent people just have to speak up.

And so we’re back, and we hope to connect with good, decent, likeminded people who will join the conversation, too. Because we know they’re out there.

We may never strike the right balance between fighting back and living our lives in peace, but we’re not going to go quietly.

So, please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 16: Another School Shooting; Keeping the T in LGBTQ+

In this week’s episode, we share our thoughts on the latest school shooting, this time in Uvalde, Texas. As parents, we have lived through this nightmare over and over again since the Columbine murders in 1999. Perhaps it’s the cumulative weight of these mass killings, or the fact that the Uvalde murders occurred so soon after the racist murders of Black shoppers at a grocery store in Buffalo, but this incident haunts us even more than the many, many school shootings that have come before. 

After the recent public hearings into the Uvalde massacre, what are we to do with the information we now have about what happened to these kids? And even more, what are we to do with the knowledge that none of this — not the gravity of these killings nor their gruesome details — will move some of our fellow Americans? None of this will affect how they vote or change their views of gun control at all. So, what are we to do with that? 

We then turn our attention to Pride month, and, in particular, the ever-increasing attacks on transgender and nonbinary people coming from the right and the left. Given that even so-called allies openly question whether trans and nonbinary people are entitled to the same rights as the rest of the community, we trace the history of the Stonewall uprising and the integral role trans and nonbinary people played and continue to play in the movement, including trans heroes Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera. For more information on the history of the movement from Stonewall to the present, check out the documentary Stonewall Forever on YouTube, produced by The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Center in New York.

Please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 15: Anger Can Be Power

In the punk rock manifesto “Clampdown” from the Clash’s London Calling LP, Joe Strummer wrote, “Let fury have the hour/Anger can be power/D’you know that you can use it?” 

A lot of us have been feeling anger lately, for a lot of good reasons. The Supreme Court appears to be on the verge of overturning Roe v. Wade. Craven politicians attack the LGBTQIA community incessantly and call us “groomers” or worse. They and their media allies push racist tropes like “white replacement theory.” And just last week, a racist gunman in Buffalo, inspired by this hate, murdered ten Black people using a gun adorned with racial slurs. 

So, your anger is justified. The challenge is how to express it effectively and constructively. Because we have to express it, especially those of us with privilege.

We don’t have all the answers, but a Michigan state senator, Mallory McMorrow, provided valuable insight when she pushed back against a colleague’s vile attacks. Listen to her speech, which is a little less than five minutes long. This is the anger and honesty we need more of, not just from politicians, but from all of us. 

Please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Episode 13: Making It Work

In this episode, we talk about managing a successful mixed-orientation marriage in difficult times when the rights of the LGBTQ+ community are increasingly under attack. Although as a community and a country we’ve made tremendous strides over the past 30 years or so, progress is never smooth and linear, and when society backslides on our fundamental rights, there is no guarantee we will eventually get back on track. So now, more than ever in our lifetime, it’s time for unity and solidarity with everyone across the LGBTQ+ community.

Please listen to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast

Programming note: We will be off the week of April 25, 2022. We will be back with new episodes after that!

Episode 12: Going Viral!

On this week’s show, we have news about our upcoming appearances on Jesse Jackson’s Set Lusting Bruce podcast (David’s episode will post on 4/13/22 and Jennifer’s on 4/14/22 — please check them out!) and the great conversations we had, and we also revisit the video we made for Transgender Day of Visibility (check that out, too!).

Please listen to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!

Transgender Day of Visibility Special

We just wanted to drop in and acknowledge Transgender Day of Visibility, which falls on March 31 every year. We want our trans and nonbinary friends and family members to know we support you without reservation and we will always fight for you. 

As we mention in this episode, check out Sarah O’Connell’s channel on YouTube for more great information on trans advocacy and allyship. For more information on pronoun usage, check out GLSEN.org‘s Gender Terminology Discussion Guide.

Please let us know if you have any questions or comments!

Episode 11: Our Favorite Artists

On this week’s show, in light of the unexpected, tragic death of the Foo Fighters’ beloved drummer, Taylor Hawkins, and our upcoming appearances on Jesse Jackson’s Set Lusting Bruce podcast, we talk about some of our favorite musicians and bands — artists who are not only incredibly talented, but also genuinely decent and compassionate people:

  • Garland Jeffreys
  • Living Colour and Vernon Reid
  • The Mavericks
  • Rosanne Cash
  • The Clash and Joe Strummer
  • Billy Bragg
  • Tom Petty
  • Los Lobos

Great artists you can enjoy without shame!

Please listen to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!

And keep an eye out for a special episode this Thursday in honor of Trans Day of Visibility.

Episode 10: Fighting the Good Fight on St. Patrick’s Day and Beyond

On this week’s show, we talk about a lawyer’s lawsuit against the Illinois Attorney Registration and Disciplinary Commission to get them to recognize that discrimination against transgender and nonbinary people is a form of lawyer misconduct (and some good news on that front!), what the legacy of being Irish in America should be (courtesy of Cait O’Riordan and Irish hip-hop group the Kneecaps), and a New York Times op-ed gone horribly wrong. 

And we have some new theme music! Well, new to you anyway … 

Please listen to this week’s episode and, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!

Episode 9: Give Us a Break!

On this week’s show, we talk about our 27th anniversary (!) and what it’s like to have a successful mixed-orientation marriage, especially in these bizarre times.

We also talk about the current onslaught of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation around the country, from Florida to Texas to Idaho, and the toll it takes on the mental health of those of us in the community. In some ways, it’s especially bad for us older folks because, as the expression goes, it’s déjà vu all over again — we’ve seen this demonization before, and whether it’s the last gasp of a failed culture war or a genuine threat to our health and well-being, it’s particularly hard to face after years of apparent progress.

Anyway, sometimes we all need a break from all this terrible news, so we begin to explore ways of dealing with the mental strain of rising anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment … a theme we will undoubtedly come back to many times in the future.

So please listen to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!

Episode 8: Casimir Pulaski Day

On this week’s show, we talk about Dave’s appearance on Jesse Jackson’s Set Lusting Bruce podcast, the podcast of all things Springsteen. Dave and Jesse recorded the podcast last week and the episode will likely be posted in early April (watch this space for updates and a link when posted). In other podcast news … Jennifer is going to record an episode of Jesse’s podcast too! Our two episodes are likely to be posted around the same time! Many thanks to Jesse for being so accommodating.

We also talk about Casimir Pulaski, father of the American cavalry and hero of the Revolution, who, though he never set foot in Illinois, is honored with a state holiday due in large part to the sizable Polish population here. Gen. Pulaski’s story is quite remarkable — and, though you would not know it, is quite relevant to our show! 

So please listen to this week’s episode and, as always, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. And, as always, support the rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere!