Tag: LGBTQIA

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Episode 33: Mind Your Business

On this week’s show: Our pool is finally open after months of delay. We’re still trying to get the hang of Threads. Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick support the ACLU Drag Defense Fund. Drag queens have First Amendment rights, too. A lot of you have lost your minds. Jennifer says mind your business. “Moms” for “Liberty” doesn’t want this smoke. White people ruined “woke” (just ask Bill Burr). “Awake Americans” … who are awake, but not woke? … are cringeworthy. And more. 

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! 

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Episode 31: Transitioning While Famous, and the Supreme Court Strikes Out

On this week’s episode, after reminiscing about being in New York City last year for the 4th of July and giving a shoutout to Garland and Claire Jeffreys for commenting and sharing last week’s podcast, we get down to business.

First, we talk about Elliot Page’s book Page Boy: A Memoir, which Jennifer highly recommends. Navigating becoming famous while coming to terms with being transgender is not an easy thing to do, but Elliot has managed to do it with grace.

And that brings us to a discussion of other people who’ve transitioned while in the limelight, including Grammy-winning artist Wendy Carlos, who brought the Moog synthesizer to Bach and other classical composers in the 1960s and ’70s, and Chaz Bono, who began to transition around 2008 and sat down with David Letterman for a memorable interview in 2011.  

In this same conversation, we talk about Gina Chua, former executive editor at Reuters with a decades-long, high profile career in journalism, who transitioned during the COVID-19 pandemic. In a 2021 New York Times story, she said the pandemic gave her the privacy and time to be able to “grow into her skin.” Chua is the most senior transgender journalist in the country. In the Times article she says, “There are a lot of people who are 14 years old who would like to know that this is not a death sentence.” She continues, “It’s not a millstone. It’s something you can be proud of, it’s something you can celebrate and something you can live with.”

Finally, we turn to the recent Supreme Court decision in 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis, where the Court considered a web designer’s challenge to a Colorado civil rights law that might, theoretically, possibly, maybe, someday … require her to create a wedding-related website for a same sex couple. The only problem is, no same sex couple has ever actually asked her to do that, so her entire case is based on mere speculation. That’s the kind of case that courts ordinarily throw out because, without an actual injury, a plaintiff has no standing to bring a lawsuit in the first place. Not so much under the current Bizarro-World Supreme Court, apparently.

But it’s actually worse than that. At some point during the case, anticipating a challenge to her standing, the plaintiff filed a declaration under penalty of perjury stating that a same sex couple named Stewart and Mike contacted her company to inquire about a wedding website. Though the documents the plaintiff filed provided Stewart’s telephone number, no one bothered to verify the story. Except for a journalist named Melissa Gira Grant, who published a piece in The New Republic on June 29, 2023, one day before the Supreme Court delivered its opinion. In her New Republic article, Grant reveals — and other media outlets have since confirmed — that the story is simply untrue. Stewart never reached out to 303 Creative, never knew that they used his name in their case, and absolutely never requested that 303 Creative design a website for him. In fact, Stewart himself is a web designer and was already married at the time of the alleged contact … to a woman, not to a man named Mike. 

Apparently, some folks are so consumed with their own hate that nothing else matters, least of all the truth.

So, anyway, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 29: Solar Panels, Artificial Intelligence, and Hate Groups

This week’s episode runs a little long, but we think it will be worth your time.

We begin the show talking about solar panels and whether there is a downside to high tech solutions to environmental problems. Then we talk about artificial intelligence and how some employers use it in the hiring process. Perhaps employers use AI to cut down on the biases, implicit or otherwise, that hiring professionals may have … but what about biases that are baked into the AI? Illinois and New York have passed legislation to address some of these issues, but it remains to be seen whether that legislation will be beneficial.

That leads to a broader discussion about implicit bias and whether we’d be better off confronting it and learning to hold it in check rather than relying on technology, which may or may not have its own biases, to replace human involvement. 

And don’t get us started on age discrimination … 

Anyway, we wrap up the show talking about the Southern Poverty Law Center’s recent designation of Moms for Liberty (or, more accurately, “Moms” for “Liberty”) as a hate group. While SPLC brands them as anti-government extremists for their concerted efforts to harass school board members, teachers, administrators, and pubic libraries, they are, in fact, a pro-authoritarian organization that wants to dominate public schools and dictate what other people’s kids learn and what books they can read. And that doesn’t even get into their over-the-top anti-LGBTQIA bigotry. 

Moms for Liberty has affiliated groups throughout the country, including ironically named groups called Awake Illinois and Awake Americans that are trying to destroy our local schools. And they will try to destroy yours, too. We will follow up on this in the coming weeks, but we also briefly mention some people in Illinois who are affiliated with these groups, including a small-town (alleged) “cowboy” who posts (homoerotic?) selfies all day and is convinced that he’s the smartest guy on the planet. You’ll be surprised to learn that he’s … not.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 27: “You’re Not From Chicago”

So, we’re done talking about our Ireland trip and the Bruce Springsteen concert (for now), but we have to mention that our episode of Jesse Jackson’s Set Lusting Bruce podcast is now live, so check it out. We had a great time recording with Jesse.

Turning to this week’s episode, we talk about living in the Chicago suburbs and folks from out of town getting dunked on for mouthing off about our city … even though it’s not really our city. (For context, see this write up of Fox & Friends’ misadventures in suburban Naperville on the morning of Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson’s inauguration.)

But it’s not all fun and games. Picking up on a part of our conversation with Jesse on his show, we also talk about the current status of LGBTQIA rights in America and the increasing threats to the community. Is it just the last angry gasp of a dying ideology, or is there a real danger that our community will lose its hard-fought rights? We take a look at a violent incident in Glendale, California, where far-right thugs attacked supporters of LGBTQIA rights and what it says about the growing desperation of anti-LGBTQIA bigots. But we also share some good news — a US District Court judge in Florida entered a preliminary injunction that temporarily prohibits the state from enforcing portions of its recently-enacted law banning gender-affirming care for minors. The ruling only protects the named plaintiffs at this point, but the court’s decision (which you can read here) is very encouraging.

However, even that good news comes with a word of caution. While this judge got it right, we know there will be further litigation and likely appeals in the Florida case, along with other challenges to these types of statutes around the country, and at some point one or more of those cases could reach the Supreme Court. In the past, we might have been somewhat optimistic about the Supreme Court’s ultimate decision in these cases — after all, this is the Court that gave us Obergefell and Bostock — but in the post-Dobbs world, all bets are off.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 26: Ireland, Part 2

Following up on Episode 25, we continue our conversation about our recent trip to see Bruce Springsteen in Dublin, but first we talk about recording an episode of Set Lusting Bruce with our friend and podcaster, Jesse Jackson (not that Jesse Jackson; the Springsteen podcaster from Dallas). We had a really great time talking to Jesse about some serious stuff (the rising tide of anti-LGBTQIA prejudice in the US and whether it’s the last gasp of a dying ideology) and some very fun stuff (BRUCE!). 

We’ll post a link to Jesse’s podcast when it’s up. In the meantime, check out other episodes of his podcast, including the most recent episode where he talks with Warren Zanes, author of a deep-dive into the Nebraska album called Deliver Me From Nowhere.

We then we go into an extended discussion about the concert, getting there, getting in, getting close to the stage, and … getting wet. But it was a fantastic show and Bruce was in fine form. The set opened with “My Love Will Not Let You Down,” which was the opening number on his reunion tour with the E Street Band in 2000, so it holds a special place in Springsteen lore. From there, he played a fair number of songs from: 

  • The Wild, the Innocent & the E Street Shuffle (“Kitty’s Back,” “The E Street Shuffle”); 
  • Born to Run (“Born to Run,” “Thunder Road,” “Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out,” “Backstreets,” “She’s the One”); 
  • Darkness on the Edge of Town (“The Promised Land,” “Prove it All Night,” “Badlands,” “Something in the Night”); 
  • Born in the USA (“No Surrender,” “Glory Days,” “Dancing in the Dark,” “Bobby Jean”); 
  • The Rising (“The Rising,” “Mary’s Place”);
  • Wrecking Ball (“Wrecking Ball,” “Death to My Hometown”); and 
  • Letter to You (“Letter to You,” “Ghosts,” “Last Man Standing,” “I’ll See You in My Dreams”).

He also played “Out in the Street” from The River, “Nightshift” from Only the Strong Survive (his recent collection of soul covers), Jimmy Cliff’s “Trapped,” “Johnny 99” from Nebraska, and “Because the Night” (an all-time favorite). He did not do some of his lesser known songs that resonate with long-timers (“Roulette,” “Held Up Without a Gun,” “Paradise by the ‘C’”), but it was a very solid retrospective of his career. You can actually down the audio of the performance here.

In addition to that, we talk about our time in Dublin, wandering around O’Connell Street, our adventures on public transport, and hiking in the Dublin Mountains, plus our visits to the James Joyce Centre and the Garden of Remembrance and our thoughts on the documentary, Bono & The Edge: A Sort of Homecoming with Dave Letterman, part of which was filmed right across the street from our hotel.

For more on our Ireland trip, the concert, and reflections on modern Ireland, you can listen to this episode of David’s Clash podcast, Two Minutes Fifty-Nine.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

On the bus to RDS Arena
We were *this* close
Bruce and Little Steven were in fine form
Bruce comes over to our side of the stage

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Episode 24: Kids Know Who They Are

This week, we discuss a recent episode of 60 Minutes Australia on parents who refuse to assign their newborn babies a gender at birth. Though the show suggests that the parents, who refer to their kids as “theybies,” let the kids “decide their gender,” we note that that’s not really true. Rather, the kids are who they are, whether they’re cisgender, transgender or nonbinary. They’re not choosing their identities; they’re just coming to understand them. Ultimately, kids know who they are, whether their parents like it or not. So maybe it’s better to let them tell us, rather than the other way around.

This leads to a broader conversation about the assumptions we make about kids, the ways we effectively indoctrinate them in straight, cisgender “normality,” whether we mean to or not, and how damaging that is to kids who don’t fit that mold. If we don’t teach our kids that other kinds of people exist and have perfectly valid lives, we’re telling them that if they’re not straight and cisgender then they’re broken. 

We also discuss the annoying trend of parents weaponizing their status as moms and dads to demonize queer people, ban books, and bully teachers, librarians, and school boards. They’re not fighting for “parents’ rights” or “protecting kids,” they’re fighting to impose their narrow worldview on other parents and their kids. 

Finally, we couldn’t end the show without gloating — just a little — about Fox News firing Tucker Carlson in the aftermath of the network’s massive settlement with Dominion Voting Systems … not to mention Abby Grossberg’s sexual harassment suit against Carlson and Fox. 

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

Just a reminder: We’ll be off the next couple of weeks traveling, but we’ll be back in May!

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Episode 23: On the Road Again

On this week’s episode: cats don’t worry about other people’s chosen names and pronouns, so you shouldn’t either. We also revisit an old classic: the Boy Scouts of America, an organization notorious for its homophobia in the 1980s and ’90s, recently settled decades of child sex abuse claims for a cool $2.5 billion, and yet your favorite online transphobes — you know, the ones who claim to care so much about other people’s kids — remained predictably silent. It’s almost like they’re more interested in distracting attention away from real abusers than they are in keeping kids safe … 

But we spend most of this week’s episode talking about one of our favorite bands, The Mavericks. We just got back from seeing the alt-country, Latin-influenced icons in Milwaukee (a greatly underrated city, by the way), and, as always, they were outstanding. We’ve followed The Mavericks since the mid-’90s and it’s hard to explain just how great they are in concert. You just have to see them for yourselves.

And speaking of traveling to see bands, next month we’re off to Ireland to see Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in Dublin, which means that we will take a two-week break after next week’s show. But don’t worry. We’ll have lots to talk about, not the least of which will involve driving stick-shift on the wrong side of the road.

Finally, we wrap up the show with a funny incident that happened last week: somebody hacked notorious anti-LGBTQIA troll Matt Walsh’s Twitter account, and hilarity ensued.

So, please enjoy this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 22: Let Them Play

How do we go from The Masters to the rights of trans athletes in the span of half an hour? Well, it wasn’t easy but we did.

The conversation winds from birdies and eagles and albatrosses to high school gym class, with a few odd detours (European team handball?) along the way, until we settle on last week’s announcement that the US Department of Education proposed new rules on trans athletes’ eligibility to play elementary, high school, and college sports under Title IX. 

As an important caveat, it’s critical to understand that these are only proposals at this point and we do not know what the final rules will look like, but there are some legitimate concerns over the government giving sports leagues too much latitude to make the rules. For example, leagues may say that trans women and girls cannot play until they’ve undergone hormone therapy for a period of time. While this might seem like a reasonable compromise to some, in practice it would mean that league officials could effectively force trans young people to make decisions about gender affirming care that they are not prepared to make — kind of odd, given that there’s so much (likely fake) outrage about … kids undergoing gender-affirming care too soon.

And more than that, let’s face it: Youth and college sports organizations don’t really have the best track record when it comes to making decisions for kids. Think USA Gymnastics. Penn State. Ohio State. USA Volleyball. Do we want these folks dictating who should play or what gender affirming care kids should get at what age? 

They can’t police themselves; why should they police trans athletes?

In any event, there’s more to our conversation than that, but you’ll have to listen in to hear the rest! The bottom line is, our view is the same as it always has been: Let them play.

So, please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 21: Reflecting on Trans Day of Visibility

Since we recorded our last episode, Transgender Day of Visibility happened (it was March 31) and we would be remiss if we didn’t share our thoughts. According to GLAAD, only about 30 percent of Americans personally know someone who’s trans. At the same time, legislators around the country introduced more than 400 bills attacking LGBTQIA rights in the first three months 2023, and over half of those bills specifically targeted trans people. But you can help! Please consider filling out this form on GLAAD’s website and sending it to the political leaders in your state.

But Trans Day of Visibility is more than an opportunity to rehash negative things, no matter how aggravating they are or how important it is to confront them. It’s just as important, if not more so, to celebrate trans and nonbinary people for who they are and what they accomplish. While we have to address negative things like harmful legislation, we can’t let trauma define the community. Like our own daughter who’s living a great life, trans and nonbinary people are making their way in the world and achieving greatness, and they are not defined by the horrible things the bigots visit upon them. Case in point: Jeopardy! champion Amy Schneider, who schooled the world in trans excellence over the past year.

We then talk about Kansas’ legislature overriding their governor’s veto of a bill that bans trans girls from participating in sports consistent with their gender. Barbara Wasinger, one of the bill’s sponsors, reportedly said the state would enforce the bill by requiring girls to undergo sports physicals to confirm their biological sex … which most critics interpret to mean genital inspections. 

Aside from the utterly disgusting idea of the state forcing inspections of kids’ genitals, this leads to a broader conversation about sports and how they’re really not the level-playing-field meritocracy that people imagine them to be.

And from there, we tackle yet another deceptive story about the Washington University health clinic that provides gender affirming care for trans youth, this time by Emily Yoffe on Bari Weis’ Free Press blog … er, website? No, we’re not going to link to the offending article, but we will say what we’ve said all along: Utterly unqualified folks like Jesse Singal, Bari Weiss, Matt Walsh, Bill Maher, and the rest of those weirdos need to keep their noses out of the health care decisions other people make for their kids.

So, please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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Episode 19: March Madness

On this week’s episode, we give a long over due (LONG OVERDUE) shout-out to our friend and podcasting mentor, Tim Corrimal of The Tim Corrimal Show, whom we’ve known for years and who helped us considerably when we got started. Tim gave us great advice about podcasting … though we can’t say we’ve always followed it, which is our fault, not his. Check out his (much more professional) show, and follow him on Mastodon and Spoutible (@timcorrimal).

From there, we talk about our very own March Madness, which does not, much to Dave’s chagrin, mean we discuss the University of Illinois’ storied men’s basketball program and the many, many injustices that have been visited upon them. Nope. This March Madness includes our wedding anniversary, our oldest child’s 27th birthday, and our youngest child coming home from college for spring break.

Then, despite our promise to be more uplifting this week, we provide an update on the Jesse Singal Fiasco. Jesse, as many folks have reached out to tell us, is off Twitter … sort of … but it’s not Dave’s fault. We swear.

Returning to more positive things, we introduce you to Ronnie Angelique Young, a successful Black Latina trans woman who testified in Florida against laws targeting the LGBTQIA community. You can watch her remarkable testimony here and follow her on social media (@Dncndiva on both Twitter and Instagram).

Segueing from that great story, we talk in more general terms about the scrutiny LGBTQIA people face these days, especially trans and nonbinary people, and how the enemies of the community look for any perceived mistake on the part of queer people, their healthcare providers, and their supportive parents and allies, to paint a negative picture of the community as a whole. 

Finally, we talk about young people and how, when anti-LBGTQIA say “let kids be kids,” they overlook the fact that kids often know about their identity and orientation early in life — just like straight kids do! So when we say “let kids be kids,” that includes queer kids!  

Please enjoy to this week’s episode, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, and, as always, support the rights of LGBTQIA people everywhere! And if you’re new here, you can also follow our Twitter account, @itsotetPodcast.

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